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The “Aunty JoJo Effect”: Why Foster Families Need a Village
There’s a phrase often used in foster care circles: fostering takes a village.
But sometimes, the most important people in that village aren’t the foster parents themselves. Sometimes they are the trusted friends, extended family members, neighbours, church members, and safe adults who quietly step in and say:
“You don’t have to do this alone.”
At A Chair at the Table Counselling Services, we know that supporting children through foster care and kinship care means supporting the entire family system around them. Healing rarely happens in isolation. It happens through connection, consistency, and safe relationships.
For me, that support role became what we jokingly called being a “co-foster mom.” To the little ones who enter my friend’s home, I’m simply Aunty JoJo.
How the “Aunty JoJo Effect” Began
I was drawn into fostering through my friend’s family. Watching them open their home to children in crisis deeply impacted me. I longed to foster too, but at that time, it simply wasn’t a workable situation for our family.
Still, I knew I wanted to help.
My friends and I quickly realized something important: foster parenting was never meant to be done alone. The emotional, physical, and practical demands are simply too great for one family to carry without support.
So we created our own version of a village.
Our home was approved to care for little ones if needed. Criminal record checks were completed to ensure safety for everyone involved. And from there, my role naturally grew.
When placement calls come and a child suddenly needs a home, I try to be there to help welcome them. Sometimes that means comforting frightened children. Sometimes it means supporting the other children already in the home as family routines shift and adjust.
Because the truth is: even positive change can disrupt the flow of a household.
The Reality of Foster Care Support
Much of foster care is not glamorous.
Children often arrive with only the clothes they are wearing. That means emergency shopping trips for pajamas, toothbrushes, socks, diapers, formula, school supplies, and comfort items.
Sometimes children come needing immediate medical care or treatment for lice—what we lovingly call “hair fairies.” It’s time-consuming and exhausting, but also deeply practical support that matters.
There are appointments. Family visits. Meetings. Phone calls. Paperwork. Emotional meltdowns. Sleepless nights.
And in the middle of all that, foster parents still need to care for their own children, marriages, homes, jobs, and mental health.
This is why support people matter so much.
Sometimes support looks like helping coordinate appointments. Sometimes, it’s sitting beside a foster parent while they vent and cry. Sometimes it’s an extra set of hands to rock and feed a baby.
And honestly? Sometimes it’s simply showing up with coffee and no judgment.
Why Children Benefit From Extended Safe Adults
Children entering foster care or kinship placements have often experienced significant trauma, instability, grief, or loss. Safe attachment and predictable relationships are incredibly important for healing.
The more safe, regulated, caring adults a child has around them, the better.
Children need adults who:
Remember their birthday
Celebrate milestones
Show up consistently
Offer comfort without conditions
Create moments of joy and normalcy
Sometimes the most healing moments are the simplest ones:
Matching Easter outfits
Christmas pajamas
“Party food” and movies before bedtime
Bedtime snuggles
A trusted adult cheering at a school concert
These moments help children feel seen, valued, and safe.
Supporting Foster Families Also Supports Biological Children
One area that often gets overlooked is the impact foster care can have on the biological children already living in the home.
Even when children are compassionate and welcoming, adding a new child to the household changes routines, attention, emotional energy, and family dynamics.
Having trusted support people available can help biological children feel supported too. Sometimes they simply need someone safe to talk to while their parents focus on crisis situations.
Supporting the whole family system helps prevent burnout and compassion fatigue.
The Emotional Weight Foster Parents Carry
Foster and kinship caregivers carry enormous emotional responsibility.
They love children wholeheartedly while often living with uncertainty. They navigate complex systems, advocate constantly, and care deeply for children whose stories may involve trauma, neglect, grief, addiction, or loss.
Support people cannot fix every hard thing.
But they can help carry some of the weight.
That matters more than people realize.
You Don’t Have to Foster to Make a Difference
One of the biggest misconceptions about foster care is that you either foster children or you don’t help at all.
That simply isn’t true.
Maybe you:
Babysit during appointments
Bring meals
Donate clothing
Help with transportation
Offer respite care
Attend school events
Become a safe emergency contact
Sit with a grieving caregiver
Pray for the family
Become an “Aunty” or “Uncle” figure
Every role matters.
The “Aunty JoJo Effect” is really about this:
Showing up consistently in the lives of children and families who need support the most.
Building a Village Around Families
At A Chair at the Table Counselling Services, we believe healing happens in relationships. Foster care and kinship care are not journeys families should walk alone.
Whether you are a foster parent, kinship caregiver, support person, or someone considering how you can help, your presence matters.
Sometimes changing a child’s life doesn’t begin with becoming a foster parent.
Sometimes it begins with becoming a safe chair at the table.
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